What It Feels Like To Have Early Menopause | Body Language


When I was 44,
I had to have a total hysterectomy, which put me into surgical menopause
and for about three months, I was OK, and, um, then, I fell off a cliff. It was as though having my womb and
my ovaries and my fallopian tubes and my cervix removed had actually unplugged something in me
that made me me! SHE LAUGHS I became a completely
non-functioning human being. I couldn’t open the front door,
I couldn’t pick up the telephone, I couldn’t see anybody. I had essentially become an empty
shell. I’d become a husk of myself. And in the middle of the night,
I would wake up in a panic so severe that I was paralysed,
and I couldn’t move. When I would finally make it the
few steps down the hall to my mother’s room, I would crawl
into bed, next to her, like a child. SHE LAUGHS And I would lay my head on her
chest, and sob. I rang my GP surgery and said, “Is
there a menopause support service? “I desperately need to speak to
somebody who understands “what I’m going through.” They just said, “No, sorry,
there’s nothing like that.” I collapsed into the sofa
and sobbed for about two hours. It was grim. There was snot
and bubbles and – yeurgh! When you feel like you’re going mad, the hardest part is the feeling of
being alone. It’s the feeling of being
the only person in the world who is struggling the way you are. One day I was driving, and I had
this thought which was, if I just grab the top of the
steering wheel and turn it fast, about 180 degrees,
this will all be over. I suddenly realised I had
my four dogs in the car, and realised that I couldn’t do that
to my four beautiful Jack Russells! SHE LAUGHS When I told my husband what had
happened in the car, he picked me up,
drove me to the doctor, and then she told me that
it was appropriate for me to have hormone replacement therapy, and I started the treatment the same day
and I can remember two days later, I woke up and rather than it being
dark, I remembered seeing blue sky. Not just menopause, but female
gynaecological conditions, so often are laughed about, ignored, misunderstood, because it’s hidden. We can’t actually see it. That compounds the loneliness
that the woman feels and it also makes her wonder –
“Are they right? “Am I just overreacting? “Have I really been going mad?” I think if it was something that
affected men, I think there would be more impetus to do
something about it. If menopause made a man’s penis
shrivel up and fall off at 51, we’d have sorted it
a long time ago.

63 thoughts on “What It Feels Like To Have Early Menopause | Body Language

  1. I'm twelve
    I got my first period at eleven
    It stopped three months ago
    The doctor said I cant have children
    It's an extreme case of early menopause ( the doctors words )

  2. Amen sister!! What you said there at the end. Lol
    Anyway, I agree. There aren’t enough people/Drs out there that understand just what we women go through when that time hits. I actually think the men that go through the midlife crisis have more understanding then we. My mom has said “it’s ok, you will get thru it, friends say..man, that sucks, Drs say take your vitamins and drink lots of water etc etc. I was pretty much left to my own screwed up head at that time, nobody there to help. My Dr gave me 2 months worth of hormone meds then said no more, he didn’t believe in it. To make a long story shorter… I went through 20 years of pure heck!!! I woke up one morning, drove to work, realized my world/my body felt normal again! WOW…what an experiment!

  3. ‘Two days later, rather than it being dark, I remembered seeing blue sky.’ As a person who suffers from anxiety and depression, that was amazing to hear.

  4. Men do suffer from menopause it’s called andropause it can cause severe depression, insomnia, lack of self esteem, sever nausea, loss of muscle growth, erectile distinction, loss of mosivation, infertility, and even development of breasts in some cases but we are stuck to this 18th century rule that men related issues should be kept to ones self to keep reputation and it never gets spoken about whereas women do have support chains for menopause and it is commonly spoken about well at least more than it is for men

  5. Thank you for this! Only speaking up about this and all the other issues we face as women, especially with the medical field can help change, can help us feel normal, because our struggles are not mad, obsurd and we are never the only one!

  6. You would think the surgeon would have said that she needs hormones..its obvious…there was no reason for her to go through this

  7. When you’re a man going through menopause and this is really offensive 🖕🏾 don’t think you’re so oppressed when you react by oppressing me

  8. It does affect men! I had testicular cancer had surgery, now have extremely low testosterone and nothing is being done about it I'm only 32 years old I have no desire for a sex drive or anything it in very depressed no energy I know exactly what you're talking about and I'm a man!

  9. I'm scheduled for a total hysterectomy on August 1st. I'm terrified. I have no choice. I've been struggling for years with chronic pain due to endometriosis. I've already had two surgeries, one of my ovaries has already been removed due to it being so diseased and full of cysts. I'm 33 and don't have any children, this I am ok with. My main fear is crushing anxiety and depression, of which I already struggle with.

  10. Normally women have their menopause in their early 50's.These days menstruation stops for some women in their 20's,30's,let alone 40's . lack of exercise, unhealthy eating habits,trying to be skinny, anorexia, stress, has robbed women of their womanhood.

  11. Gosh! Can't she have sex anymore? A woman's menstruates for almost 40 years, starting from early teens to her early fifties ; the more sex she has, the more younger and attractive she'll be, to look.
    I have never seen a woman talk like this, she's not strong enough to cope with the demands of womanhood.

  12. I'm sorry, I'm a woman but her last statement is true, not only because of sexual discrimination, but tbh more people in the world would have it overall, which would mean more research would go into it. Kinda ignorant to me, instead of being equal women are sometimes being radical, saying that men deserve to undergo pain and suffering and hurt.

  13. Find a local Purple Tent, an extension of The Red Tent movement. A women run gathering for women to celebrate all that being a cyclical and menopausal woman. There is also The Pink Tent too for young girls starting their moon time. Much love x

  14. Men are more prone to depression. So that's why i've been struggling with it for last 10 years, cause every illness men face more is immediately researched and cured.

  15. Age prevents our penis from working. Dont be one sided and say that we would have solved it long ago, as if I don't care about you unless I'm effected. That's just rude. I spent my time watching your video and learning from your experiences.

    Sorry for your struggle, but men as a lumped group aren't the reason why we dont have all the negative experiences of menopause all fixed up..

    But thanks for giving me more insight into the struggle that my mother and plenty of older women in my life have went through.

  16. OH here we GO…
    Men don't suffer therefore the incredible, amazing research into hormones never happened…

    Ruined an otherwise OK short…

    PS, why was she discharged without follow up appointment.?

  17. Laying here watching with tears because im menopausal had part hysterectomy back in april feel no different apart from no painful periods or endometriosis can't take hrt due to having heart issue's..tried natural hrt which doesn't work tried so many natural thing's that don't work…trying different antidepressants that also don't seem to work…menopause sucks!!! The non sleeping thing sucks aswell it's 5am here in aussie and i can't sleep!!

  18. Thank you for speaking out ! I hope you take your message farther to reach more women! Thank you ❤️🎉🇨🇦

  19. You are so lucky you can use hormons! I have 1 overy removed and is under (chemical) castration with GNRH, becouse of endometrios.
    Have hade this treatment for 10 years now (32-42) and i have to do 10 more years! Castration and not alowed to take hormons, Its like walking in the valley of death!!
    I feel stressed, nervous, anxious, depressed, low, no go, draind No joy, No sexdrive on top of that dry vagina, skin, hair eyes mm…
    But I wont give up! Several times every day I have to remind my self to pull myself together!
    I say this to you becouse you cant eat hormons forever and when you stop the Nightmare begins again and then you must be stong and handle it in another way.
    My mother in law hade this problem and got hormons (for about 7 years) and felt great, then Dr said No more becouse of cancer risk.
    She stoped and was back in hell. She was a social person that loved to party and go dancing babysitt etc, now wont walk outside her door!
    Im al for hormontreatment❣️ But prepere yourself for the time after them.
    PS not all women get hard times in menopause

  20. These videos are great! Really eye opening and the visuals are breath taking! Can i just ask though if therell be any on issues affecting men?

  21. i just started looking for videos to help me.. i thought i was going mad i am 33 and surgical menopause is the cause of mine.. ive had female problems since i was a teen and.. ive been dealing with tumors painful tumors all my life and left for months on end.. i finally got through that and the phemonia that almost took me out and now im dealing with this.. i nearly lost my fight last night but thanks to those around me i was given a life line to breath a little more.. then i found these videos.. andi realize everything that i been going through… is this.. thank you for posting this

  22. 1) I am sorry you had to go through that. My mother is currently going through it and i see the effects on her. It's devastating.
    2) Where do you get your music from? I love it

  23. After I had my 4th child at almost 40 I suffered from post natal depression and anxiety and I feel I was thrown into perimenopause. Everything you have said in this video I can relate to and the images you have chosen to use in this clip I was going "yup that expresses it all? 8 Years later and finally got the right med dose and hormones I am feeling more balanced. I got help as soon as I had symptoms so PLEASE PLEASE to anyone suffering out there, get help and keep pushing for help, you are worth it!!

  24. Well since I’m only 15 the only thing I know is waking out of your sleep feeling paralyzed is called (sleep paralysis)😩I have it all the time and it can be caused by lake of sleep and or STRESS

  25. I really hate these "If men…" comments. Really unnecessary. Can we agree that we all have shit to deal with? Thank you. Still a very interesting video.

  26. Damn BBC, all this series is empowering! Great story telling combined with vivid visual and crucial topics is a YES. 🙂

  27. Men certainly do suffer and menopause is a big problem. Women are more likely to divorce men during menopause. The coined term “Menopausal Divorce Syndrome “. We want the person back before menopause started. But hard to tell someone there hormones are making them crazy not the husband and if you give them advice during this life change oh boy back fire on you like it did on me.” Beside it’s “MAN ON PAUSE” for nothing!

  28. Best meno group is This one https://www.facebook.com/groups/384849495215750/880641135636581/ fantastic advice and support 🙂

  29. 2:45 this line helps me so much in such a serious way. Struggling with body dysmorphia, I feel so alone but one day I might be okay and get over this.

  30. Ladies, we're not baby machines!!! This stupid video shows menopause as the end of the world, that's not true. It's ok being depressed because of the hormones, but it has solution, medical solution. We can do many things appart from giving birth, don't feel lonely or sad, the world is amazing and menopause can be a new beggining of freedom without those painful periods!

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