These Are The Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist


are you dating in a total jerk? well, if you are you might be dating a narcissist I am here to tell you how to spot a signs of a narcissism is a Dr. Ramani. Dr. Ramani thanks for being here to talk with us about dating a narcissist My pleasure, thank you my favorite kind of topic. Why is this your favorite kind of topic? You know what is it It’s a curiosity to me. I started working with a lot of clients who were i hate the word ,,victimize” but who really hurts by this relationship and I saw a pattern and I though wow we got to help this people but in a systematic way so not only did i really get to helping them but it all culminated in a book that was meant to help everyone who is struggling with this issues but it was remarkable to me to look in a narcissistic relationship and essence it’s like looking into the mirror and nothing is looking back at you. U, good metaphor. Am ,,Should I stay or should I go” is your book about narcissism. What is, or what define someone to be a narcissist? A narcissist is, lets talk about in terms of sort of the key or kinds of pillow it’s a person who lacks empathy who is really entitled, meaning that they expect special treatment to be giving to them but nobody else They are very grandiose they harbor a huge of fantasy they only want to affiliate with people they think as cool or as interesting as they are. They are very superficial. They are very concern about their appearance and the appearance of the people around them. I’ve always thinks of them as beautiful facade with not a lot behind them. They don’t regulate their emotions very well They are very prone to thrown a tantrums, getting angry very quickly, specialy if they dont get their way and they can be really hipper sensitive to criticism So those are some of the key elements we see in a person who is narcissistic. And just because someone has one or even maybe a two of those does it make them a narcissists. In fact in my book I have 30 characteristics so we can go all the way. So then how many would I have to have to be a narcissist. I would say that six I gave you I expect to see all the six really to call someone a narcissistic and the longer list for example they tend to be jealous, they engage in something called ,,Gaslighting” where they literary doubt your own reality leaving you feeling like you are gone crazy they don’t tend to be very loyal, they do tend of throw temper tantrums, they get pleasure out of misery in other people. They are kind of mean – Lets explain Gaslighting a little more. What is that look like? Gaslighting looks like literary like I said when somebody kinds of denies your reality, so you might say something like I feel really sad that you really say that to me, and they said something like you have not rights to say that you have no rights to feel that way or they say something you are having an argument with them and they will had said something terrible to you couple of days before and you say, Listen when you said that, they will say I’ve never said that and so it’s literary like they denies your reality and when somebody says I never said that most normal people tend to question of themselves – Mmm.. And so, in fact I’ve always say one of the ringers that you’re in a relationship with the narcissist who is gaslighting you is you started to feeling the need to voice record your conversation with them so you can play it back to them,I always say when you feel like you need a voice memo in your relationship it maybe time to get out -Ok. I have been in a relationship where I thought I am gonna record our next conversation because You are just not believing that what has been said has been said. Gaslighting. Wow. But that not necessarily mean that that person was a narcissist. No that can be a lot of parts. But yeah but it could be a key indicator Yeah this is hard for a lot of people I feel like because we do in our society throw around that term all the time You know You get mad at somebody and say..well they’re being narcisist well, they want to have dinner at eight, they are narcisista, no they just want to have dinner at eight,you know…-right. so this type of factors really help people narrow it in when they’re narcisists i’m really curios on… when two narcisists date each other in your practice, you’re a clinical psichologist you talk always people what is that relationship look like? it’s basically a psichological cage fight i mean obvously..- ahahahahahha i souldn’t have been laughing, because it affects lot of people i know it’s fascinating because what ends up happening is nobody’s empathic, nobody’s listening, and they’re not playing with each other they’re kind of playing by themselves everything actually goes well for a while because they really care that the other one looks good so they can deliver on that- they only care that the other one looks good ..because it makes them look good this… this is like the guy “i need a hot girlfriend” you know .. it’s that kind of a modelo of …like.. i need to look good, my partner makes me look good so, it’s a sort of .. almost is larger than life kind of… almost toopretty couples that you sometimes…make you wonder what is a …. looking so good? don’t… don’t we want a partner who makes us look good? no. we want a partner who makes us feel good. -mmm there’s a difference. – there’s a big difference so i think that what ends up happening is that when the first time one person made up two narcisists togheter frustrates the other then it all breaks lose so it gets to be .. when the fireworks go they go.. big.in this kind of relationships i always say let the narcisists al cobreed then we kind of … get them out of normal dating supplies just don’t reproduce ok so… you have this two narcisists that are dating toghether.-right. – have you ever seen a couple each of them were a narcisist and they both admit it that they were both a narcisist.-absolutely did those relationships succeed?- no. no i’ll tell you what happens is that there’s… a point wich, i will tell you, there’s a number of people i work with who have admitted straight up “i’m a narcisist”i know it and now i can see how is affecting …usually it would be kids… or family relationships or their intimate relationships and they wanna do the work but they don’t recognize having almost childlike

100 thoughts on “These Are The Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

  1. The person conducting the interview sucks so bad he makes it hard to watch a full interview please replace him

  2. I was dating this girl who has BPD or narcissism. She was so jealous of my facebook oddly enough. She was jealous of the amount of friends I had in the likes I got. She tried to bring me down but it didn't work it's a shame because I loved her

  3. I feel like people that are not conceited, arrogant and egotistical can also a narcissist. I’ve met many.

  4. Very good interview. A host who doesn’t interrupt, and a person who knows what she’s talking about. Love it!

  5. Narcisists can change their behavior for the right person although its rare, but their relationships will always lack something emotionally. they just lack something that can't be learned, even if they learn to fake it for others it still won't be genuine. like respect and empathy

  6. All women are narcissistic , the degree of their narcessim depends on their looks and the value of their partners . The more she looks hotter and her man lower value . She is gonna be more narcissistic .

  7. I am with a narcistic man. And what I do, I learned to keep the conversations short and continue to have my family and good friends around regardless what he wants me too do.
    If he leaves he leaves if he stays he stays… But I learned not to give him much attention when he is acting very narcistic.

  8. My father is narcist but good hardworking business man took care of my family but I used to be great humanitarian after entering into family business I am loosing empathy towards people's only caring about profits but I love my family can I have better relationship today whole community respected me after successful but before they used to treat me like useless

  9. What if your Child is a narcissist? I know that children who are in puberty have narcissistic tendencies, but what if that was always the case?

  10. I feel like the interviewer doesn’t add anything to the video. His reaction and facial expressions just don’t seem sincere and his questions are stupid. He irritates me. She is absolutely great, she should do more of these videos alone.

  11. I feel sooo uncomfortable watching this interviewer! Really! It's a shame, cause I want to listen to the doctor, but the interviewer is very annoying even his fake reactions!!

  12. Yeah I'm trying to break up with the guy I'm with cuz yeah..very abusive and that and he has all these issues..i already have PTSD from childhood and DID so it's not good plus I'm always sick cuz of my syndrome cyclic vomiting syndrome also know as CVS so my health would always cause issues mental and physical so if I did something wrong..id get upset and tell him them he'd flip out and say how bad of a person I am that I should die and that or he'd hurt me and just make me feel crazy like I've always kinda been abused or sexually abused my whole life so I saw this as normal till I wasn't allowed to be around friends for family or cut my hair or wear makeup or jewelry and had to dress how he liked not what I liked..so it was difficult and my psychologist said I developed Stalkhoml syndrome from this and my PTSD and other issues just made it worse plus it was scary when he got mad..just think I'm 4" 11 he's 6" 5..

  13. No one deserves to be cheated on, it is really sad, i was in a relationship with a cheat luckily for me i found a hacker who helped me to hack my partner and i found out all i needed to and it helped me with my divorce, of you need anything hack related contact Mike Whatsapp/Text +15182175945 and instagram @mikeswilfred he will help

  14. It really hit home when she said that people who grow up with narcissistic parents tend to end up with a narcissistic partner… wow

  15. WHO ELSE WATCHIN THIS WITH SUBTITLES ON?😂😂 DONT JUDGE ME😂💁 I HEAR HER CLEARLY, I JUST LIKE SEEING THE SUBTITLES😂😂

  16. In 2013 I began working as an advocate in a Domestic Violence Program. I knew I could use my personal experiences to help others or write a novel…LOL Daily, I see the effects of the abuse that the abusers inflict on survivors and the children involved. Over the years I have attended many educational seminars and have not come across any on the psyche and traits of these disorders that were explained with such articulation and distinction. Thank you so much for these videos, they and the information they provide will be a huge asset for advocates working to help survivors understand the answers to so many of their questions. And, I absolutely LOVE what you said about how people, especially victims spend 80% of their energy on the unhealthy people/relationships in their lives (or even out of their lives) and only 20% on the healthy people/relationships. I love it so much I am going to make signage or a poster for my office!! : )

  17. Classic is they come off as a really nice person but they always play the victim or what people to deal sorry for them or pity them. They take no accountability for what they did to cause a relationship or marriage to end

  18. I was blamed for breaking up a relationship that my soon to be ex spouse could have had but to he himself messed it up. I was friends with this man first and often went to him for advice about other men. He was sweet and charming. We became friends with benefits which was really ugly. He made the rule that if either one of us wanted to be with someone else that we would tell the other. Well he was sleeping with me and the other woman asked him about us and he lied to her and said that we were just friends. I confronted him and he denies being with her I confronted her and it was a whole other story. In his eyes he did nothing wrong to me because we were not in a relationship just fuck buddies but to me being secretive and dishonest is the same as lying. He broke a trust and I have never been able to trust him even in our marriage. Something happened between my husband and son and even after all of that I still tried to save our marriage even though we were separated and he went on a dating site to have someone in the wings in case things didn't work out between us

  19. I'm a narcissist… And yeah, it brings discomfort here and there but I genuinely don't care about people, doesn't matter how ,much sometimes i try

  20. I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  21. Realise that these people are pathetic. My ex said he spent a weekend fixing a fence. Turns out his old man and co were working hard and he just stayed inside the house. Thank God I checked up on him, found out he was a pathological liar and when I did I got my life back. Never again will I fall for a narc. I didn’t let him break me. I decided to become an assertive woman.

  22. Maaan, this is mad frightening. How I became interested is because of someone i dated but I'm not sure this person is Narcissistic. They tend to be easily angered, tend to criticize a bit, but I've just been learning to see, Is this person that? I'm not dating that person anymore but this thing is so serious and sad for a human beings.

  23. So this person is for forbidding reproduction for people with certain traits (and who determines what traits are undesirable?), has a need for attention through YouTube, has a need for appreciation from other people through her books and is speaking about narcissistic tendencies in others. Hmm. I'm not saying she's a narcissist just that the science might not be that accurate at this time.

  24. Chances are , if the person is so good for the narcissist they turn them around. That person is just a punching bag , letting the narcissist walk all over them. Its a facade. Maybe 1 percent is an exception , but thats a big maybe!

  25. The best thing I ever did was get out of the relationship with my narcissistic ex girlfriend, I broke up with her in April 2018 and I've never been happier

  26. I think I'm a narcissist, I do everything to impress others and make them feel inferior to me, but I'm not sure if I am bc I'm not evil

  27. Well….let me call this man to end it. He’s had me thinking I’m losing my mind for almost a year. 🤦🏽‍♀️. I even started going back to therapy…who has said almost everything in this video. I can’t do this anymore.

  28. Someone may gaslight simply bc they feel bad about saying something etc…. And they don't want to face the music….

  29. Dr. Ramani needs to learn to breathe while talking. Besides this, I wonder with her all these heavy loads of knowledge whether she herself has a really happy married life.

  30. So basically you are saying that the whole world is narciccist including me and both of you too!!!

  31. WOW and WOW
    My family has a history of Alzheimer's I actually thought I was losing it and started to record conversations.
    After 35 years in the relationship my spirit was crusted.
    These interviews have been so helpful in putting myself back together again.
    Thank you.

  32. I don't know about "Low self esteem" they seem to have (High self esteem) to go out of their way to hurt good people…..

  33. I kept every single text message and when he said he didn’t say something or that I said something I knew I didn’t I’d find the conversation screen shot it and send it to him he HATED it, in the end he said he wouldn’t text because I use the texts against him 🤷🏻‍♀️

  34. I’ve watched a lot of these videos and I enjoy Dr. Durvasula’s commentary. However I am always bothered by the cohost’s wide eyed and goofy mannerisms. I find it really discordant to the topics and often derails the truly interesting and informative answers from the doctor. I know this is done to make the cohost into the everyday person but it comes across as unnecessary and somewhat demeaning to the audiences’ intelligence. Can we please have a Dr. Ramani only channel? Guided by real audience questions and concerns. 🦋

  35. What causes narcissism? How does it happen? I would want to know if I had the traits so I could change. How could you self recognize this?

  36. I have found..almost 98% similarity in my boyfriend.But It’s very hard for me to accept that he is a narcissist.😢

  37. My older brother, may he Rest In Peace, was a narcissist. I’m 6’ even, he was 6’8” and seven years my senior. Our mother made no bones about him being her favorite. Our father was more even with his attention although my first ten years when brother lived at home dad coached him in basketball all his free time. After brother left for college I got the appropriate attention from dad. Mother, on the other hand, began to sell Avon door to door and gave brother all her profits for spending money but also made me work with her, carry her orders into my friend’s houses for her so I was teased for being the “Ding-Dong Avon calling” kid. Major embarrassment for me so he could be a frat brat. He had a full scholarship to play basketball. So, in our small town he was king and the same at home. Everybody loved him, but not as much as he loved himself. He was a total narcissist with the added super jock ego. Married three times, surrounded himself with groupies and yes men. If you ever questioned him or disagreed he would freeze you out. I don’t mean just me, anyone. Our dad died my senior year. After that, the gloves came off between brother and me. He told me he hated me because dad was a coach to him but a friend to me. He carried this teenage angst his entire life. He passed away in 2014 at 65, we had not spoken in 16 years, since our mother died in ‘98. They say you’re not supposed to say anything about the dead unless it’s good. He’s dead, good!

  38. She said that she does not prefer classifying narcissism as a psychological disorder because it does not cause any subjective distress for the individual…is this same logic applied then for sociopaths and psychopaths?

  39. WOW described my ex to the rote!
    Real gas-lighting lines: I know you better than you know yourself. I know who you are and you are confused etc. You misunderstand me, you twist and misrepresent my words…

  40. I don’t know if I’m a narcissist. I know that I’m empathetic, but I also know that I exhibit many of the signs of narcissism. I DEFINITELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT I feel empathy for others, but I also find myself feeling empty and obsessing over vanity. I crave compliments. I was brought up by loving parents who gave me the best that they could, always, but they were also there for me emotionally. I think that it’s my fault that I am the way I am because I never went to them or sought out the emotional support that I needed.

    I found myself originally posting this comment for validation, but now I just want help.

  41. I love this. My marriage was just like she describes about how I thought I could get thinner, more in-shape, never talk down to him like he did to me, keep the house clean, etc. But it was like the harder I tried, the crueler he became. And he grew up in a "superficial" home where his parents got pregnant in high school by accident and his father constantly put down and cheated on his mother… exactly how he treated me.

  42. Excellent presentation. I'm not sure, however, that narcissism isn't an inherited characteristic. I feel it can have it's origins in nurture AND nature.

  43. I went on one date with what I believe was a woman with NPD. She got sexual too quickly while I was trying to be reserved. There were many moments where I was left feeling shitty, and wondering what / who she was doing. Walk away people. I had to have some back and fourth with her, tried to say many things to help her by giving her scenarios and what should I do in this scenario and what is moral or not. I said we can be friends and told her about another woman.

  44. The other thing is that they never are accountable. They think they’re always right. They will blame us for all wrongs and deflect all fault off of themselves. Besides the rest of all that ugly and being highly manipulative. They are often self deluded.

    My mom will stay with hers forever, and prob never admit that’s what he really is. Not fully anyways, but because of what I saw, even at 51 I never married anyone. Idk. I might want to marry one day, but all I knew was that I didn’t want THAT. And that was what I thought all men were deep down, so I avoided them.

    Very true tho about having to keep everything surface level. I am as low contact as possible with the step father and limited somewhat with my enabler mother. I can only pretty much keep all convos shallow with them. It’s like I really only have half a mom. I no longer expect “parents.” They are more like acquaintances really now. They are simply incapable of being real parents to me. Like if I had to stay married to one, I would “unofficially” divorce them and consider them my mere roommate and occasional fwb or something like that. They are horrible and ridiculous and I’d rather die or be alone forever than have to wind up with one of them for life or intimately.

  45. I was in a relationship where I suspected the man I was dating is a narcissist. I brought it up and he laughed about it and admitted he most likely was! After I left the relationship (due to lying, cheating and gaslighting), he was sorry and wanted to go to counseling. I did not feel this person was sincere as I found he has a very long history of multiple, short term relationships (big red flag right here!). I do feel he can feel pain when he is rejected, but will not learn from the pain. I truly think in the moment, this man may have been open to reading a book on how to change his destructive behaviors. At least long enough to read a book, perhaps! Maybe Dr. Ramani's next book will be a self help for the narcissist who has come to the (momentary) realization that everything he does will continually lead him to a place of unhappiness.

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