Sofortprogramm Pflege | 2020 | Die LATELY SHOW mit Florian Strzeletz | SATIRE

From the capital city news studios in Berlin
The LATELY SHOW with Florian Strzeletz – Welcome to the LATELY SHOW with me Florian
Strzeletz Let’s move on to our topic tonight and
take a look at the instant program maintenance Or how our Federal Minister of Health, Jens
Spahn would say: “You must have me confused, because
I don’t know any Jens Spahn! I am: Jensi Fantastic!!! Wait a minute!!! Do I hear the pop of measles? Don’t worry, mankind, I have a
Law in the backhand! Take that, villain!!! And again, I’m going to have it out with my secret
Bringing super power through the Bundestag!! Was that a creak? A creaking of an office chair because someone
not so easy to change his health insurance can!!?!?! Back off bureaucracy!!! I’m going to use my morbidity-oriented
risk structure compensation laser beam on and beam it all away: to the Bundestag, where
…I’m gonna go through with my super power right now! And if you, upstanding citizen:
what is the super power of Jensi Fantastic!?!?!?!?! Is it the most embarrassing thing to look like in a suit? Or living as a troll under a bridge? Or Philipp Amthor trapped in the cellar to
hold? No! Muahahahaha! My secret super power is more powerful than
the sword or common sense!! Because nobody in the Bundestag can stand me,
so they’re waving everything through really quickly, so I can get the hell out of here!! Hahaha Wait a minute! Do I hear the rustle of money? Excuse me, there’s a lobby rep that needs
quickly my help!!!” And that’s about how Jens Spahn got alone in
the first 16 months of his time on the Reserve Bank for the Chancellorship in the Federal Ministry
…to get 16 health laws through. Laws like the Psychotherapist Education Act,
the revised Fair Cash Voting Act or the Implant Registry Act. And not to forget the “law to strengthen
of the on-site pharmacies”, which was already Adoption against a judgment of the ECJ
…has been violated. But with so much output, it was almost obvious,
that mistakes happen. Where is Mr. Wikipedia-Wisssen2Go when you need it? Or even the title-giving
“Immediate action Care” –
  And to come up with this, our chancellor is in
spe spe spe spe once in a while, like this 5 minutes, and then he’s got the old motto
it occurred to me that there is always gave. So not “Wash in the morning and
not only for Christmas, Jens”, but “Jens, you are the ugliest toad here
at the table, but if your brain ever gets empty again is like a sponge, then organize all
an emergency programme financed by the federal government”. And the idea was born. And what really sounds more like a Telekollegah,
was then transferred to the so-called “immediate program nursing and geriatric care”. Or “SoprKrunApf” Klingon for short.
for: Gesundheit! Or “I’m gonna rip your head off” The “Immediate Care Program” has been
1. January 2019 and has as its goal the
Problem with the massive lack of personnel in the care area. Because the nursing professions lack the next generation. But thanks to the “Immediate Care Program”
are primarily intended to increase the number of additional nurse- and nurses. Which are then not supported by the private institutions of the
hospitals are paid for, but by the statutory health insurance companies. The privately insured are already looking forward
a roll-up cookie. Just not too much, please. Because just because a nurse now
…more than 100 patients doesn’t mean.., that now the two nurses have been raised to 100
Patients who are patients with a severe Kullerkeks attack. Also the main problem of care for the elderly, should
is to be tackled with the immediate program. Because we are getting older and older and more and more
need care in old age at the latest. Unfortunately it does not fall under the care level
1, if you have 2 trainees to waft air at you with palm leaves and
feeding you grapes. But that should make us, best “Master of
Face Disaster”, the “Super Mario on the Streets and Princess Peach in the Sheets”
the policy itself, namely Jens Spahn himself – And
He’s right about that. Because sooner or later, he, too.
asking, “Where to take Mummy?” And I wouldn’t want to be talking about this right now
Beatrix von Storch. And apparently Jens Spahn takes such things
…lately by Face Time. Or the money just didn’t have enough left for
16:9 is enough. Where is the “instant program 16:9” when
you need it sometime? The immediate maintenance program provides that each
fully inpatient geriatric care facility in Germany, so not the semi-stationary
Nursing Alexander Gauland in the Bundestag day-care centre, depending on the number of its inhabitants in
financed new nursing staff for an institution gets. The residents are being treated in steps of 40
calculated. So the Shady Pine Nursing Home
for their only 4 Golden Girls, even if they only have half a new job. I’m not sure how it works in real life.
because I’m thinking that if we, who already have so few geriatric nurses
and saw through the middle of him, that now not necessarily raise their morale
will. This is of course not financed by
the nursing home owners, I hear just popping champagne corks, but
about the nursing insurance which in turn receives a flat-rate grant
of the statutory health insurance funds. Only the experts know what exactly this looks like. So definitely no one from the ministry
for health, because even they couldn’t Provide figures. And even though the economic boom is slowly coming to an end.
in Germany, we have always nor the problem of a labour shortage
to have. That means we’re already in trouble.
have already maintained the data before the immediate program to fill vacancies at all. But the Jensi didn’t fall on his head,
at least in the last hour, so he of course also has a solution for this. Namely, to recruit workers from abroad. Like here, in Kosovo. – And most importantly, this is lacking, as with this
example, again and again at the bureaucracy. This is and will always be Germany. And the instant program is not called
“Immediately: Care” In Serbia, for example, a nurse earns
around 300 euros a month. But in Germany you can get up to 2.300 Euro
deserve. And as great as this is for us, the more
it is worse for the countries from which we help ourselves. Because there is now a lack of precisely these specialists. And this is not only the case in the care sector. But how are countries like Kosovo
or Serbia can create an economic to get a boost if the people,
that are needed for this have migrated? Only there’s an even bigger barrier
than maybe 12 months on the notarization of a professional qualification – namely
our language. There is almost no other job in Germany,
where language is even more important than in nursing. Because sick people or people in need of care
People must necessarily also understand will be. And that is the biggest challenge,
the “immediate care program” of course also provides. From what I’ve just read, the
word “language” in the 136 pages of the “instant program” exactly once. And not even as a word “language”,
but in the word “collusion.” I’d say we’re good. So let’s recap. On the one hand, we have the immediate program
“Care” a measure that to this day no significant new jobs created
has. And on the other side is Jens Spahn,
who’s still wet behind the ears for old people or even people in need of care
interested. Because the immediate program “Care” serves
just his own PR, which he hopes she’ll bring him to the Chancellery one day. And just for that, he will always end up
…is..: – And besides, nobody said that
an emergency program must take effect immediately, right? It’s not even in the name. Because it’s just a program. And anyone who has ever run Windows 10 on a 3.86
Pentium, knows how long the command “Immediately! Program! Care!” on Cortana then. That’s it from the SHOW again for today. But don’t worry, I’ll see you back at the
Friday with the LATELY NEWS. Until then…
A good night and… good luck out there… – The LATELY SHOW with Florian Strzeletz
Join, and subscribe

8 thoughts on “Sofortprogramm Pflege | 2020 | Die LATELY SHOW mit Florian Strzeletz | SATIRE

  1. Allons-y! 💗💗
    Und nicht vergessen: Abonnieren und weitersagen!
    Aber was haltet Ihr vom Sofortprogramm Pflege?

  2. Pflege, was für ein Zufall. Die bräuchte ich jetzt auch.🤒🤕 Irgendein Sürmel hat mir was angehängt. Na ja, trinken wir halt wieder Tee.🍵 Dein heutiges Thema ist auch bei uns ein Dauerbrenner. 🤔Mit besten Grüßen, Richi.🙂

  3. Sag mal Florian, wie bist du eigentlich zu youtube gekommen, und ausgerechnet einen news-Kanal zu machen?

  4. Nabend Florian.
    Pflegeprogramm ist ja alles schön und gut das sie die Stellen besetzen wollen, mit Leuten aus dem Ausland aber das predigen die doch auch schon seit Jahren und bisher ist noch nichts passiert.
    👍11💪 wieder eine bärenstarke Show.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *