This is the third late power bill notice. “Your request to interview for the UCLA offensive coordinator position…” “…has been denied.” Greg, that 8 million dollar buyout isn’t going to last forever. I know! I know! Look I saw the Kinkos was hiring. I can check that out. Wait, honey. What about something like this? “Nick Saban Coach Rehabilitation Clinic?” Hmm. The Nick Saban Coach Rehabilitation Clinic is the premiere coach rescue service in the country. This three year program begins when you’re given your generic off field position designed to take advantage of whatever unique piece of knowledge you possess. that Coach Saban has found useful in the continued reign of his dynasty. Whether you went 3-9 in your last season in the MAC or crashed and burned as a discarded Power 5 also ran, Coach Saban personally curates the learning structure based on where he thinks you are as a coach. At the clinic, you’ll be able to coach and interact with 5 star athletes that would be just as successful whether you were there or not. Jeudy let’s have you run really fast down the field and uh, Tua, you throw it to him when he’s open. Woooo, Touchdown! That came to me in a dream last night! I’m not sure how I ever got fired! But don’t take our word for it just look at the strong list of successful clinic alumni. Hey you mind if I hang on to these leftovers here? I tell ya you can fit that 20 grand they’re paying me in the back of Geo Tracker. No but I have been showering at the Flying J. At the end of your three year journey, You’ll be rewarded with the greatest gift of all. Awe, look what came in the mail today, honey! It’s your Saban Coaching Tree certificate. Yes! Oh no, I’m still here. Yeah I can hold. Old Dominion. The Nick Saban Coach Rehabilitation Clinic. Because there’s always something to learn from failure. Suck it, Kinkos!