It’s just great. It’s gonna be a great skate compilation video. Thank you. I can’t. I’m not even wearing a helmet or anything. What are you doing!? That was dangerous. I would need a helmet. Just one and done, one and done. Just… do it right and you won’t need the helmet. But I can’t- I’ve never done it before. Give me this. Gimme this. James, you need a helmet. Oh my god. Do you do this up against the wall like this? It’s kind of… yeah, it’s fine. It’s fine? You sure? How do you do this? How do I actually do it? Just get up there. Do I start it like this? No. No? Stand all the way up on the top. Stand all the way up? I’m wearin’ skate shoes. I’m- I should be fine. You got skate shoes. You got to keep your shoulders when you do it Keep your shoulders like this. Don’t do that. Don’t do what? Don’t open your shoulders like this. Imagine like a line…… that goes from here all the way down to here. So you commit to like… Stomping down and pushing it down to that part. You want this one? If he does it will you do it Lindsey? If he does it and like doesn’t fuckin’… crash, I’ll do it. I think– I’m going to crash though. (wow what a prediction) That’s a given. Just make sure you lean forward. And don’t, if you hold on to that while you– What does my left foot do though? It stays there. It stays there the whole time? It’s gonna stay on the board so you roll. Oh wait, look who’s coming. It stays there the whole time? It’s totally like, crack my fucking head open. That’s why I gave you a helmet. Yeah. Alright, so right on the– right on the screws? Yep. Are you ok? Don’t worry, I brought this back for ya. You almost had it. I almost had it? Yeah. Did it look alright? Yeah, I think you just need to try one more time. Alright. How cool did I look? Why am I doin’ all this, dude? Alright. The problem is you held onto that too. I did. That’s gonna keep you back. *pain* Why did you grab the chain?
*pain* I don’t know dude, I don’t know.
*pain* But my shoulder just like fucking popped out.
*pain* *pain* Ahhh, and my ankle…
*pain* *pain* (alright gonna stop putting this in the subtitles now lol) Dude… Ah, I can’t move it. Should we pop it back in? I can’t move it. Are you like actually okay, or? I don’t know. I actually don’t know. Oh my god. What the fuck dude? Did it look alright? It looked sick. Favorite part is the part where you grab the chain again exactly like you did the first- I like legit, fuckin’… Agh, I fuckin’… Thought I was gonna fall. And I did. That was the point was to fall. Evel Knievel would do a stunt but he’d grab onto something right at the last second and- He coulda gotten really hurt, it’s a good thing he grabbed– How do I know that I’m not, I can’t even move my arm! How would you rate Matt as an instructor? I mean, I fucked up, to be fair. It wasn’t him. Ok, now I’ll try it, and I’ll jump your body. Oh my god… If I fail, I’ll join you. This is the number one injury for me. Oh, we have a new number one! Number one injury! Concussion has been replaced by this. Damn. Oh dude, something just popped in my ankle. I just feel like if you had uh broken something you’d be shrieking in agony. I like how there’s like seven people just watching you die and filming it. I know… Ow, fuck! I cannot- Should we call like a– He’s fine. Agh, I’m not fine dude. Something in my ankle’s fucked, I can’t move my arm. I mean you only got two options here. OWWWW!!! FUCK. Either you’re okay and you can… have an ice pack or you’re going to the hospital. I don’t know. Can I… can somebody try to lift me up just to see? We would stop at Urgent Care. – Hold on.
– Ready? Hold on, hold on hold on hold on hold on. Hold on, that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts. Can I get a… Can I– Can I get a pillow? A pillow? Can I get a pillow? *ouchies* I can’t, I can’t lift it up. I can’t lift it up. You want me to roll you onto the pillow? I can’t lift it up to get it onto the pillow. I’m gonna lift you up again and you’re gonna land on the pillow. I dont know dude, I… I walked in and I saw that and I was like… I don’t know what outcome to expect. Thought I would hit it. You thought you would hit it? Yeah I thought– You might’ve. But you did the thing. This might not be a good time but you brought the pillow out, I got this item the other day. I didn’t know what to use it for but it’s a uh… Um… Oh, nice. A Jeff Goldblum pillow case. And I thought maybe I could put the pillow in that. This cupcake shaped pillow? Stick that in there. (Music) Man oh man. Think I’m good with physical activity for a while. I can’t… I can’t move it. Oh we’re gonna put him into the wheelchair? You gotta like– What? Somebody’s gotta try to maybe grab your other side. – Yeah, I got your other side, but you’re gonna have to just–
– Be careful of his arm. I know. Ready? – 1, 2, 3.
– Hold on, does this hurt? There you go. *sharp pain* *wow jakob on camera* Okay, just take a breather, there’s no rush. Matt. you break any bones doin’ this? I broke my toe before. Dude… if it was just 1, but it’s both! Ow. What is this? Just whiskey. A lil bit of whiskey. You’re not driving any time soon anyway dude. I like this picture Sharks, have you ever broken your wrist? My foot… my foot and my arm are both fucked. Well now you got whisky on your breath when you talk to the nurse. What have you been up to? We’ve been recording, we have all the evidence. We’ll just show her the video You see, he shouldn’ta hold on the chain! It’s his fault Um This is really like… my arm is not… I can’t just like… it’s like, taking… effort to keep it up like this. Yeah, that’s why we gotta get you a fuckin’… Sling Thank you Still has pressure on it. I’m still like, yeah, I’m still working to keep it… like, up. Maybe a little bit tighter? OW. Fuck, dude, this hurts so bad. This one right here I think is a regular Urgent Care. Now listen… Do you want me to injure myself too so you look like a hospital buddy? I want you to injure yourself because of your… your fuckin’….. Everything I heard while I was down on the ground. What? I lifted you up onto a pillow. You also said he’s fine, repeatedly. Coulda been. I could have been? It’s not like we have a safe word. We need one now. “This is not a bit” usually works. Ow. So if you feel like you can get into a car, then we’re goin’ somewhere, but… if not then we’re gonna have to call… Well, I’d rather not wait. So I mean, I should… I should get my ass in a car. Guess who gets to ride shotgun? Oh, me! That’s so fun. Great. Here you can see where I hit somebody on a bicycle 🙂 Pretty cool! Not helpful. Great, man. I hope people appreciate this shit. Now, are you gonna have anyone else go, after me? Yeah, I wanted Brett and Lindsey to go. Everyone. You should probly space ’em apart just in case of… This is already a problem. Ow, fuck. But you’ve got good use out of those shoes. Heehee, I did. I could say I’m a skater now. MmMmM Well, you sure did it this time, bud. I’m sorry 🙁 Fucking knocked out two videos because of this. Alright, I have all your stuff. I know that feeling. Sometimes you think, there’s no way this could go THAT bad. No, I knew. (Brett laughing) No I knew. You have insurance? No. Are you– is that a joke? No. Not you, her. Oh. Lindsey, you’re the only one that cares about what happens here. Physical body I think you’re the only one here who has insurance… maybe John. (big ol sigh) Figured, you know, you had enough money where you could afford health insurance. Well, he could. You’re right. He could have not taken a second ride on the skateboard, there’s a lot of, you know, in hindsight it’s easy to say… (more of Brett laughing) Fortunately, in the fast-paced world of content creation, an injury has to sustain all the videos he’s gonna miss because he’s gonna be in the hospital. So our new five-part documentary series will be this week’s con– (Laughing) I think we’re long overdue for our first hospital visit. You know, jackass, all the greats… They always have their hospital visit, you know, episodes. And now we can say we’ve joined up their ranks. You called Poison Control once, but… Yeah. That’s about it. And that was certainly almost a bit. Unbelievable. And yet, believable. James, be honest with me. Was this all just a big ruse to get Jakob back on camera? Was he even on camera? He wasn’t even on camera for any of this. He’s gonna have to take your place now that you can’t be in videos anymore. Oh well good. Yes, absolutely. That’s good. Agh. (Laughing) It all worked out. This is the spot, James. Oh yeah. You even have an open space. Isn’t that nice? That’s great. (Brett does a weird little laugh) Ok. Now, mind you, we have no wheelchair available. (Music playing) This is not… this is not helping, this… this thing. It’s not helping. Just take it off. Ready? Hold on. Unclip it You’re number two in the list. Don’t worry Yeah it’s the next exit over Okay, hey guys. Thanks for tuning back in. Now going to the emergency room at Glendale Adventist It’s yeah, like literally one exit out, we passed it on the way here. They said they think James’ shoulder is maybe dislocated. Which to me sounds better than some other things it could be. It sounds better than broken cause I know it’s very painful, but they ca–can’t they like… Pop it back in. They give you some morphine, and then a little pop. Better than… four months recovery time Broken collarbone So anything with the foot? Is your foot– – We don’t know.
– They didn’t even check the foot. He was screaming in pain about his shoulder, so… Yeh. They kinda focused on that. Man on the radio said, if you don’t have to drive, don’t. Guess what? We HAVE to drive. Yeah… Okay. There are some wheelchairs. *more pain* Oh god, no Take a minute. We’re getting closer to the– It was in a decent spot, then I fucked it up. It’s ok, we’re getting closer to the morphine. I don’t know dude. Put a little on that leg. Alright, you’re good. Ease into it, you know the trick. There we go, there we go. Let’s move the old Kia, gotta move the old Kia. James inside currently praying that a nurse comes up and injects him directly in the neck with a syringe of morphine. It’s pretty much all he wants more than anything in this world right now. Well hello Mr. Wilson. Hey everybody. Welcome to the first ever emergency room Let’s Play. We got some– we got an IV for my man right now. Can you see it? Is it actually doing anything? Uhh… It’s just kinda sittin’ there to be honest. But I think it– I think uh… our awesome nurse injected you with some uh painkillers, so, you’re in good shape now. How you doin’? Bad. I’m Frank, I’m one of the employees here. How’s it goin’? How’s it goin’ sir? Hey, Brett. What’s goin’ on today? Well… Good news James is we have this footage on my phone so anytime someone asks me what happened, you might just show them. And they’re like “I see exactly.” Alright, let’s get some pain meds going. Let’s do it I’m glad that this can all be documented. It’s like, my future… self can look back on this. Yeah, and show this to your child, you’ll be like “My son,” Yeah. Learn to drop in early. Yeah We got a pretty sweet setup. We’re here in room number nine. We uh… We–we’re hooked up, you got a lot of technology going on in the room. This will be your little imaging screen. Ow. What’s– what’s the main pain right now? It’s still the shoulder. Still the shoulder? I’m just trying not to move it at all and try to keep it as still as possible. Mmm. Wait until meds come and meds kick in. Yeah. Hopefully these drugs kick in soon. Hopefully your ankle’s good too, your ankle hasn’t gotten much attention so hopefully that’s… Minor issue, but… We’ll see, we’ll check in with you. *Pissing noise* Welcome to the tour of James’s bathroom. Got a lot goin’ on here. Got some uh… specimen cups, some towelettes, great setup. You know, got the… toilet seat covers. TP. It’s the dream, gang. *Pissing continues* Well, update. Shoe is off. Lookin’ a little red there. They just gave you your x-rays. What did they say? Dislocated shoulder’s, more than likely. Don’t know about the leg yet. You ready to get filled full of morphine ‘n uh, your shoulder *laugh* relocated? Reset, right? Reset. Just like in the movies. Damn, like an action star. Even through those pain meds and through this I can still feel it. This is awful. Pretty gnarly, huh? Yeah. This is really bad What percentage has it improved by via the IV? I think just laying down has been nice. Mmm. You know, just… Kinda just get the pressure off of it. Mm-hmm. I still have to hold it up. Mm-hmm. With my hand. Or else it sinks and then it hurts? Mm-hmm. Okay James, what just happened? He just fucking popped my shoulder back into place. So he– He sat you up and then he kind of slowly worked through it and he was sitting you up and I was like What’s comin’, then what happened? He made me sit up, and just fucking pulled it and just like reput it back into pla– I have never felt anything like that. I thought he was like massaging it, like… I thought he was, thought he was waiting like for somebody else to come in. Yeah And he just fucking pulled it out He had you sit up like you were doing a deadlift and then he just did it. Yeah, you know, training fuckin’ worked, man. I did it, I did like I was doin’ a deadlift. I did deep breaths and everything. Oh my god. What did that feel like? Just… insane bolt of pain? It was….. Uh…….. Why did you do this? We’re “documentaring” If I tell you what I’m doing while I’m doing it, it’s much worse. Yeah. Kinda like the surprise in a second. – Yeah.
– You didn’t know what I was doing. I thought you were massaging the arm for somebody else It was dislocated, so that’s why I was– It’s much easier to do it this way that is going to the operating room and puttin’ you in all the stuff. Yeah. And that’s even– it kind of damages it more. If I– if I see you’re a mellow person, and you’re tolerating it well, which you were… I can do it that way quickly and we’re done. That was well? Compared to like… I mean now how do you feel? I don’t know. It’s like mixed emotions. You’re in shock? (laughing) That was cool. That was really cool. That’s like a talent. Yeah, yeah. You think he could do that to himself if he dislocated– Stuck in the jungle and you had to, probably. Did you– There was an update on my ankle as well. Oh yeah, so about this ankle. What’s the– It’s way worse than anticipated. I’m going to be in a cast for like six weeks. Ohhhhh dude. Yeah cuz we– all the focus has been on the searing pain in your dislocated shoulder But yeah, did not expect that. That’s– that’s fucked. I’ve never, in my life… worn a cast. Never. I haven’t either, that’s fucked up. What has… YouTube done to me? I’m blamin’ corporate for this. I’m blaming your algorithm shifts and demonetization to drive me to such extreme lengths. That’s right. The cautionary tale of demonetized has led us to this reality. I don’t know what people are gonna say to this. Am I… retarded for doing what I did? Is it appreciated because of going to such extreme lengths? Yikes. I don’t know. Yikes. We missed out on 2 videos that we were supposed to film. We were supposed to record when I got back. Oh my god. So you’re kind of still in shock about the shoulder thing but it must be some sort of– There is a little bit of relief, I– it still, it still hurts. Yeah, swollen and everything. But like… it’s not in….. Like it’s not like up in here anymore. Like he… Jesus, it feels completely different. It was like… in there. Like my shoulder was like in there, stuck. And I think that’s what the pain was. Oof. I landed right on it. I think that’s what it was when I landed on it. I must’ve just like jammed in there like it just… went in. Final update of the night, what’s next? They’re gonna put a boot on me. And then I gotta get it scheduled I guess to go in and get my cast for 6 weeks. Oof. They’re just gonna leave the jeans on because I don’t wanna get naked and try and get these skinny jeans off me, so I’m gonna have ’em cut it. So I just lost a pair of jeans as well. Just gets worse and worse man. Figure it out later. How wonderful this experience has been. Taught me so many lessons. Alright buddy, I’m gonna leave you in good hands and girlfriend’s here. Everything’s gonna be okay, buddy. Except for your jeans. Make sure you milk all the footage of this as you can. That’s right. That’s what it was all for. This amazing video content. You did it again! Wow, gang. What a day! Lindsay brought me the Mexican food that I never ate today because our adventure started as soon as I came back. Uh… Yeah, I guess we’re just gonna see what’s next. Uh… He’s gonna get his boot and his cast tomorrow, and then not work out for like six months. I don’t know. I have no idea what’s gonna happen. Uh… Thanks for coming along on this exciting adventure. Is this is the post roll? Should I do the post roll? Hey guys, thanks for watching. This has been James injures himself for YouTube content here on Cow Chop. Just remember every time you said we want house era content, it led to this. It’s your fault. 100%. Make sure you subscribe, click that bell, and follow us on Patreon cause James doesn’t have insurance and this is going to cost thousands and thousands of dollars Oops! Gotta go.