Hospital Show | Ep 2: Droopy


[assistant] 22 take two, mark. [Astrid]
Yes, tatient was patapa… Yes, he was tackydicky. Yes, patient was takanaka. The patient had been tachypneic
before intubation. And I’m not a doctor, Rich. Almost a doctor. Rosanna’s here? [Beth] The Rosanna cam is here. Why do I need
a different kind of bra?[Rosanna] How is everything
going here, ladies?
Aah!♪ And now
we’re lining up to see ♪
♪ The movie of our vanity ♪♪ Everybody
Everybody ♪
♪ Everybody’s on TV ♪[Kaitlin]
Were you… doing a stunt? No, the doors didn’t open,
and I… So… you were just… walking. Yes, Kaitlin,
I was just walking. Hmm. Whoever’s on the doors
is fired! You hear me? A only, mark. Action. Where the hell do I… Dr. Grace. We need you in OR 1. Clear!
[paddles powering up] [flatline beeping] [Will] He’s not responding. [Carol-Ann] Uh! Stop. Everyone stop. It’s over. No. No. It was a straight-forward
surgery. That caused cardiac arrest.
I’m sorry. Time of death? None. You heard her.
None time of death. Get out of the way. Mr. Monahan, it’s me. It’s Dr. Grace. I’m sorry, but you are not
slipping out the back door just because
the going got tough. You are going
to take back your dignity and face your wife
and ass-head brother while you’re alive. It’s time for you
to stay where you are, sit in the pot,
and cook, damn it, because cooking
is the only way we grow as human beings. It’s the only way we grow. Do you hear me? [steady beeping] Well… that’s one
for the history books. [steady beeping] [relieved laughter] Welcome back to Lions Bay
General, Mr. Monahan. Only question is… where did you go? [Paul] And… cut. Okay, cut. Happy.
Scene 41 9. Moving on. Wow. Blessed miracle, folks! Right here at
Lions Bay General. Whoo! Give it up for Number Two,
folks! Right here! -Yeah!
-Whoo! -That’s my girl!
-Beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you. And may I try another
where I actually revive him? Has he been given
any venous vasodilators? Isosorbide mononitrate,
for one? Maybe a shot to the head!
Anything? I think maybe you’re
overthinking it… with your vast knowledge. That’s okay. It’s okay. I have one more thing, people,
one more! Hey, everyone, I am here
with Charlie Nielson, who just delivered an incredible
speech about cooking, and shed a tear. This woman doesn’t fake it,
people! I actually did fake it, Vince.
It’s called “acting.” I bow to you, Charlie.
I effing bow. Vince out. Hey, Will.[Rosanna] Everyone
but Charlie and Wardrobe
is released, please.Thank you. That’s lunch.I had one more.
It’s okay. [buzzer sounds]
-We got it! We can’t do this anymore. We need to talk.
Your office. Now? -Will?
-Want to talk now? Will? Look, um, Rosanna wants to know if you remember how to do
the basic thing, the… sewing thing. The, um, you know, with
the things, the sewing… Oh, suturing. Suturing.
Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, I have to
brush up a bit, but sure. ‘Cause it’s going to be
your hands, no stunt hands. Oh! Okay, yeah. Well, I shall rise
to the occasion, good sir. Just don’t make it too good. No, it’ll be… it’ll be great. I’ll… I’ll do it. This is the surgery where
you’re drunk, the guy dies. You can know how to do it,
but it could also… it’s cool if it’s messy. But I’m a good surgeon. No, no, I don’t think so. Not anymore. Good?
-Yeah. Well, this is gonna be the best
damn purse-string suture anyone’s ever seen. Wanna learn something, buddy? -Duh, hell, yeah.
-Yeah. Let’s do it. So before I forget,
your manager is calling me now, and wants to know
what’s going on. Are you staying,
or leaving the show? Okay, now is not the time… ‘Kay, because this is no longer a stable environment
for me to learn in. Well, I still think it’s better
than where you were… And my dad called. I will call him back. He wants to know
what’s going on too. Are you staying or leaving?
In your relationship. I’m sorry that your father
is involving you on this level– He may have a problem
with fitting in, in life, in… in the world, but he has a social anxiety
disorder, okay? He gambles, and plays
first-person shooting games. To relieve his stress. -Why don’t you–
-Sweetie. I know. Not the time.[Rosanna]
Am I interrupting something?
No. I was just leaving.[Rosanna] Bad news.We have to reshoot all of that.[Charlie] Why? I thought we hit all the marks.
Generally.Uh, yeah.
But we didn’t fix the problem.
I’m sorry. What– what is this
actually about?It looks like you came downwith a case
of droopy-boob syndrome.
-Droopy?
-I blame Wardrobe.
Did you just say… droopy?Yes, Charlie. Droopy.[Beth] Okay, first of all, uh, no one’s breasts here
are droopy, if that’s what you’re implying,
except for mine, maybe. Uh…I said the scrubs
make it all look droopy, Beth.
Don’t put words in my mouth.Second, they are scrubs, right? Scrubs, scrubs are baggy. They’re supposed to be droopy.Look, I don’t care what they’re
supposed to be, Beth.
I don’t want droopy boobs
and saggy crotches
on my show anymore!There are no droopy boobs
and sag– they are scrubs, like…Yeah, I know they’re scrubs.
I want ’em tight!
Okay, ahem. That’s it. I quit. Okay? My dear, it has been
a pleasure, but I need, like, I need to… -Wait, what? You can’t quit.
Don’t walk away from me, Beth.-I have to, honey. I’m so sorry.
-What?Do not walk away from me, Beth!You say what you want
to me, Rosanna, but you show some respect
to that young lady. Okay? She takes the horse manure
that you shovel onto the page, your word-gruel,
your one-note scenes, and she spits out
fucking symphonies!-Oh, very good.
-All right? Excuse my language! You ought to be kissing
her calluses. All right? This show
is ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag, so goodbye!-Yeah, good riddance!
Ha ha! Yeah you did, Beth!
-Off you go!
[Beth] Oh, god,
that’s the wrong way! That felt so good! Whoo! I finally said something! I can say things! I have a voice![Rosanna]
Charlie, look at me.
[Beth] I’m strong!♪ There is no remedy for ♪[Rosanna]
Look at me over here.
Listen. She was not
a good stylist! Charlie!
♪ I need an intervention ♪♪ Or emergency attention ♪♪ Doctor, I’m
beggin’ you please ♪
♪ What is this
vicious disease ♪
♪ I’m broken like a record ♪♪ You will see
You will see ♪
[Nancy] Oh, hi. I’m Nancy. I’m the new Tad. I’m so proud
to be on this show. You, uh… you got my granny
through hip surgery, I swear. She loves you.
Loves the show. [vomiting] Oh, my god,
are you okay? Um… yeah, I’ll… I could have tea,
and I will have tea. Uh, anyways, it’s, uh,
it’s great to be here, and, um, okay. Bye.♪ You know there
is no other way ♪
♪ To win the game ♪♪ You gotta fake it ♪♪ Fake it till you make it ♪♪ Fake it ♪♪ Fake it till you make it ♪♪ Put your cape on ♪♪ And walk right through
the door ♪
♪ Fake it ♪♪ Fake it till you make it ♪♪ Fake it ♪♪ Fake it till you make it ♪♪ Take it to the mountaintop ♪

11 thoughts on “Hospital Show | Ep 2: Droopy

  1. They should do a Hospital Show in Spanish, I understand very little English, and maybe there must be Latin people like me wanting to see and don't understand anything 🙁
    By the way. I like it a lot! 💜💜

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