Hospital Show | Chapter 8: New Zealand is for Pussies


Shrimp? Wait a second,
does that say “Kill Will?” No, thank you, I’m allergic. Does that say, “Kill Will,
question mark”? She’d go back to med school,
and then go to Africa, do something meaningful
with her life, and let botflies
bore into her flesh. Hey! Stop yelling
at her, all right? Why would you
do this, Astrid? Dude, relax,
I kept it real. I just told my followers that you didn’t want
to be with me, even though I was
having your baby. Oh, geez. My patient is gonna die. If she wants to go back
to med school, we should help her go. I’ve already got
something set up. …and I was so super pissed, I took a shit in your trailer. What did you do?♪ Everybody
Everybody ♪
♪ Everybody’s on TV ♪-Hey.
-Hey. How’s your day going so far? Well, I was,
I was gonna be a dad. You know, Astrid was pregnant,
and then she wasn’t. Um, apparently I dumped her,
which I didn’t know I did, and so she had a miscarriage
and took a dump in my trailer. How’s your day going? Oh, uh, I’m fine. Um, well, have a good scene. Thanks. [Nancy] Hey, Vince? Yeah? You got something
on your shoe. [♪♪♪] [bell ringing] [Paul]
Okay, Will, you’re drunk, you’re not a good surgeon
anymore, your patient’s gonna die. [Will] I know I’m drunk, and I know I’m gonna kill
my patient. [flatline beeping] [Will] Oh… [Vince]
It’s over, Duke. It’s over. [Will slurring] I smell poo. I’ve smelled poo
the entire time of this scene. -[Paul] Cut!
-[bell ringing] [Will] Jesus. [Paul] Okay,
you’ve killed your patient, it’s all your fault,
and action! Nooo! Buddy, buddy,
take it easy, man. Leave me alone. You bastard… you drunk bastard,
you just killed someone. How does it feel, huh? How does it feel?! Tears? [Paul]
Lisa, tears, please! Question?
I killed someone? No, he did.
He killed someone. I’m talking to myself, man. This is an inner monologue
for him in the mirror. Oh, no, I thought he was
talking to me in the mirror. You know, like, like, looking back at me,
talking to me in the mirror, and I killed someone. No, no, no, me,
I just killed my patient. My fault. Me. Okay, then, what does that
have to do with me? You’re just being a buddy,
and you feel two things. On one hand, he was drunk. It was his fault,
he was negligent, but on the other hand,
he’s your buddy, you feel bad. Can we get back into the moment
here, please? Thank you. I’m the buddy, okay,
I’m a buddy. [Paul] All right,
Vince is the buddy, it’s all Will’s fault,
and… I hate you![assistant] Reset.I hate you! I… Oh, fuck, I really
hurt my hand that time. Ice! I need ice!
-[bell ringing] Why does it smell
like human poo in here? It’s, uh, it’s probably me. It’s somewhere in my trailer. What’s your deal, man? Mm-hmm, “Dirty-Dirty-Clean.” Can smell like feces,
but appears clean. [assistant] Scene 41, take one,
tail slate. We’re just doing one take? That’s it, one?
We’re just… That’s it? -I’m good. I’m good.
-[Nancy] Yeah? Okay. One take. Pivotal scene, one take. She doesn’t care about my stuff
’cause I’m a dead man walking. [texting] You don’t care. Yes, I am.
I mean, I do. There’s a shrimp ring
in Craft Service, Charlie. She knows I’m allergic. Shut up. Drink this. She’s not actually
trying to kill you. [Will] She is. We’ve seen it all up
on her storyboard. The big thing, she’s got it all
plotted out, it’s all there! [clears throat] [Nancy]
Quiet on the set, please? You know what? Screw it.
I’m done. Let’s quit together. Screw the botflies. I’ll come to Africa with you. Let’s… let’s jump. Okay, nobody’s
jumping anywhere. Surprise, surprise,
surprise, surprise. ‘Cause you’ve never jumped
anywhere in your life, from anything. I’ve bungee jumped
in New Zealand, asshole. New Zealand’s for pussies! Shh! Vince, stop taping this. [Vince] No, come on,
this is real. Keep going. You know what…
you know what your problem is? You think about everybody else
but yourself, ’cause you’re a pussy. Shut up, Will. -Pussy.
-Shut up! You’re a pussy. Puss-say! Pussy, pussy, pussy,
pussy, pussy! [laughing] Oh! [Kaitlin] Charlie, can I
talk to you for a sec? [Charlie]
Sure, what’s up, sweetheart? [Kaitlin] Come with me,
just for a second. [laughing] What did you do? I don’t know. [Vince] Oh, that was amazing. Kaitlin, what are we doing? Dr. Richardson,
meet Charlie Nielson. Mom, Dr. Richardson
is the Dean of Admissions at University
Health Institute. What? Kaitlin, how did you…? So, you want to be
a real doctor?♪ Doctor, doctor, please ♪♪ It’s still the same disease ♪♪ But it’s hard to operate ♪♪ When the patient’s
alive and kickin’ ♪
♪ Vow to slow us down ♪♪ Enough to look around ♪♪ ‘Cause the unexamined life ♪♪ Well, it’s certainly
not worth living… ♪

10 thoughts on “Hospital Show | Chapter 8: New Zealand is for Pussies

  1. You have no idea how loud I gasped when I saw Alvin Sanders (Pop Tate 🥺🥺) I was wondering why him and Jordan took that one photo together! I figured it was just random but now I see why and now I am SOFT.

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