“Doctors Of Reddit” #2 | WEIRDEST Patient Stories


Nurse here. Had a patient
accuse me of (bleep) in her bed, and threaten to sue me for malpractice. Key note: she never got out of her bed. (laughing) That was good. Hey guys, what is going on? Today we’re gonna be doing
another Reddit thread, specifically a really funny one that I just came across today. Doctors of Reddit, what
is the weirdest thing a patient wouldn’t admit to? I’m gonna answer the question right now and then we’re gonna look
at everyone else’s answers, give feedback, give reactions, all that good stuff. Are you ready?
(whooping) As you know, part of my medical advice is to not put anything into your ears smaller than your elbow. What I’m trying to say
in not so eloquent terms, don’t put anything into your ears, like into into your ears. What the cottons swabs, or
Q-tips as you know them, are meant to be is for outside cleaning. But then everyone likes that sensation of scratching the inside of your ear, it feels so good, tickle, tickle, tickle. That is no bueno. You actually end up doing damage to the inside of your ear with that. You start irritating that area and that creates a breeding
ground for bacteria. One lovely day patient
come in on my schedule, ear pain, right ear. Do you use Q-tips, no. Any water in your ears, no. So I look inside the
left ear, nothing there, ear looks good, obviously as expected. Then we go into the
right ear, what do I see? An otitis externa, it’s basically an infection
of your ear canal, like the skin inside your ear. But what I see a little
bit further inside the ear is cotton! Cotton don’t belong in your ears. I don’t know why I did an accent, but it don’t belong there. I pull out the piece of cotton and I’m like, do you want to see it? My patient goes, yeah, I do. And they think I’m about to
show them a piece of wax, whip it out and they get so embarrassed. Because obviously I’m showing them that I know that they’ve
been using Q-tips. It was kind of a funny moment, we got a good laugh out of it. That guy with a spider bite on his tongue was actually eating spiders, like on purpose. Oh my god. I mean, like, I know
insects have good protein and there’s like grasshopper
protein bars now, but spiders? Not a doctor here, but a patient admitted to me that she was stuck on the
toilet seat for three days, butt suctioned into the toilet seat. Upon asking when was the last time she ate she said this morning. I said, how? Turns out her husband
was home the whole time and she threatened him not
to call the paramedics. The husband was literally
delivering her food and water. I don’t know what their end game here was. Yeah, I can see how embarrassing that is, but call the fire fighters or something. Had a mother bring in her
seven-ish year old kid who locked a pair of pink fuzzy
handcuffs around his hands. She kept saying, “he
found them on the street.” And he would get mad and
say, “I told you mom, “I found them in your room.” And she would just completely ignore that. Why would you go to the hospital? I feel like I would call police or like a firefighter or something. What are we gonna do in the hospital? I am a vet student. Many clients like to say, I
don’t overfeed my dog or cat, that’s just their normal size when their pet looks like a watermelon. Oh, I see that a lot in the park. They say, I barely feed him any dog food, he doesn’t like it. But then you see at dinner
time they’re feeding him mozzarella, chicken, cheese, Snickers. I’m like, what are you doing? Chocolate’s poison to dogs. Fido loves chocolate. Only work records in a clinic, but we had a woman come in
with a report of vaginal odor. All well and good, it happens all the time
in an OBGYN clinic, or family medicine. What she hadn’t bothered to say was that she’d gotten a tampon stuck around the end of her last period. However, she’s gone through
menopause seven years earlier. What. How the remote control
to a Zenith television wound up in the rectum of a
54 year old father of two? They stopped making Zenith
television sets years ago. From a medical perspective, why do you still own this remote? I can literally smell the smoke on your clothes and breath, see the nicotine stains on your fingers, and you’re trying to tell me you quit smoking 10 years ago? That actually happens a lot. When patients come in for a physical that is mandated by a
life insurance company. It’s well known that if you admit to a life
insurance company that you smoke you get higher premiums. People lie and try and tell the
doctor that that’s the case but now we have a blood test and a urine test that we can check and see if you actually do smoke. I guess some people can argue that and say they’re secondhand smoke but we know. Nurse here. Had parents bring their three-year-old son to the emergency department for one month of abdominal pain that kept getting worse. I ask all the routine
questions for this complaint, lots of questions about poop, bloody diarrhea, mucus, when
was the last one, changes. They deny any other concerning
symptoms but abdominal pain. We do blood work, ultrasound, x-ray. Everything comes back normal but the kid is intermittently
screaming in pain, curled in a ball. Over the next five hours I continue to repeat the same questions. I asked repeatedly if there was anything else going on
that they could think of. Nope. I bring in the discharge paperwork and I’m about to start
going over the instructions and the dad goes, you know, for the past three months he’s had a lot of worms in his poop. Worms. Effing worms. You spent six hours denying worms. I literally just turned around and walked out of the room
without saying a word. I was laughing almost
to the point of tears. Could not wait to tell my resident. Deworming medications, a
(bleep) of wasted of time, and they were on their way. Worms can happen, They’re parasites, they live
in their digestive tract and it’s just a simple medication
away from being treated. Actually one of the tests
that we do for worms is called the scotch tape test, may not have heard of it. But we literally put
a piece of scotch tape on the butt hole area. I don’t know why I said
it separate like that, but we put it there. Dan, stop laughing. I don’t normally laugh
when I say butt hole, but I can’t say certain words because of the YouTube
demonetization algorithm. So not only am I trying to
sound medically accurate, but I also have to watch my words ’cause of the algorithm. So the butt space hole, you put the scotch tape there and then the worms lay eggs so that when we take the
scotch tape off overnight we can look at under microscope and say, ooh, look, worm eggs. They’re there, it’s positive and we can treat it. The more you know about holes. A teacher once told me
a story about a lady who brought her young child
into the emergency department complaining that the child
was sick from eating ants. The doctor struggled to see
how that would make her sick. It wasn’t until after some time and the child beginning to get very sick that the mom said she gave
her own child ant poison to kill the ants she ate, then told the doctors it must be the ants and not the poison. Oh my god! If that’s true. Do not eat an poison, moral of the story. I can give you that medical
advice and not get in trouble. When I sedate kids they have to be NPO
for eight hours before, meaning no food for eight hours. So I always ask if they
had anything to eat or drink in the morning. Parents never want to admit
their kid ate or drank, even when I remind them
it’s very important because if they vomit and
aspirate they could die, meaning choke on their own vomit. Because when you’re sedated you don’t have good gag reflexes, that if you’re choking on
something you’d spit it out or vomit it out. So imagine you’re vomiting, you don’t have good gag reflexes, you could easily inhale the stuff. Often they try to minimize it and say that it was just a few bites, but the one kid walked in eating a bag of Cheetos at reception and then the parent insisted to me that they hadn’t eaten. Yeah, I’m 100% not
sedating your child today. There’s plenty of times
that a patient comes in, they need blood work. I tell them okay, make sure you don’t eat. They get their blood work, they come back. I look at their blood tests, I’m like oh my god, you’re so diabetic. You’re young, how are you so diabetic? You weren’t diabetic,
you know, six months ago. And they’re like, oh, was
I not supposed to eat? I admitted a guy for chest pain. As part of the workup I
did a urine drug screen which came back positive for cocaine. After the rest of his
cardiac workup was negative I said to him, good news you
didn’t have a heart attack. It’s likely that your chest
pain was caused by cocaine. His answer, I didn’t use cocaine. See, I was at a party and people had some lines
of cocaine out on a table and as I was walking by an oscillating fan blew the cocaine into my face which is why my urine was positive. (laughing) I’ve said before my channel why you need to be really
honest with drug use when you’re talking to your doctor. Because there’s many times
medications interact, treatments interact. And unless we know fully what’s going on we may actually do more
harm than good to you. Not a doctor, but a nurse. Medical professionals, we’re opening it up to
medical professionals. Had a patient come in with
a toothpick in his penis. Refused to tell me how he got in there, insisting he was picking
his teeth and it fell in. (laughing) Oh, man! I feel like there’s always gonna be some kind of weird thing
that a patient came in, tried to insert into
themselves one way or another and they tell a really interesting story because they’re embarrassed
to tell you the truth. Don’t be embarrassed. Doctors are humans too. We do weird stuff all the time. I mean, not me. But, you know, other doctors. Not a doctor, but work in the E.R.. One day some pretty young
parents brought their toddler in because he was super lethargic and not responding to any stimuli and the parents said they had no idea why. The staff were pretty concerned for him because those symptoms are a pretty big red flag for small kids. So we start running a bunch of tests including a drug screen which ended up being positive for THC, the main ingredient in marijuana. The doc goes and talks
to the parents about it and they finally broke down and admitted that the kid had eaten an entire bottle of their weed gummies while they weren’t paying
attention a few hours earlier and he was just high. Oh my god, that’s so dangerous. We need to be careful
with this kind of stuff. This is why Tide Pods, like, we know of Tide Pods ’cause
of the Tide Pod Challenge, but Tide Pods are
actually really dangerous and cause severe issues
in very young children. Because if they’re kept
in a low enough area and there’s a three-year-old
running around he sees a colorful thing
that looks like candy, puts it in his mouth, emergency room. I can’t tell you how many
immaculate conceptions I’ve seen in teenage girls with their overbearing religious parents. The crazy thing is how tightly the parents stick to the story that she never had sex, but somehow got pregnant. I get it. You, like, are lying to yourself so that you don’t displease,
you know, your faith. That kind of stuff doesn’t
bode well for physicians because we’re trying
to deliver quality care and we’re trying not be judgmental, but if you’re gonna lie
to us and mislead us we may hurt the person
that we’re trying to save. Swingingrichard3, I evaluated a patient for acute abdominal pain in the ED. No PE, physical exam, findings were noted and the patient’s vitals were
all within normal limits. I then ordered some plain
films, which is an x-ray, which showed an incandescent light bulb lodged in the rectum. When questioned about how the
light bulb got into his rectum he stated he was working
outside in the garage and fell off a ladder. He was then sent to the operating room where the bulb was a rule
without any complications. Some days I love my job. A light bulb? First of all, incandescent light bulb, how does it not shatter, A? And B, why? In reality, yeah, people
sometimes feel embarrassed and don’t tell the truth, that’s why you need to be a
good communicator as a doctor to sort of feel and
sense these things out. As a patient, the advice that I would
give to you for the future, please be honest with your doctors. If you don’t tell us about
a specific drug you’ve taken or activity you’ve done we can actually harm you. We can even kill you in
certain circumstances. The more honest you could be, the better care you’re gonna get. I’m gonna be telling my
crashing a car spider story soon and that’s gonna be me admitting something really bad to ambulance drivers,
firefighters, and all that. So I’m not afraid to share some of my most embarrassing stories. Come on, for god’s sakes, I told you guys I pooped in my pants
so many times as a kid. Check out my Mother’s Day video for that. If you have any good Reddit threads you want me to look through
and discuss on this channel drop them down below in the comments, share them on my subreddit
which is linked down below. We can talk about it, we can get some education, have a good laugh, smiles,
all that good stuff. And check out this playlist right that I created especially for you. As always, stay happy and healthy (lively music)

100 thoughts on ““Doctors Of Reddit” #2 | WEIRDEST Patient Stories

  1. Is it really nicotine stains or tobacco stains? My mom smokes. My dad recently passed away. Mom needs me a lot right now. I live a 4 hour drive from mom . So I'm having to stay with her in her smoke filled house. I literally feel like I am going to die!! I feel sick, I can't breathe, my throat is sore and even worse than all that is I smell horrible. I usually fly down to her instead of driving, so I struggle to get as clean as possible before leaving for the airport. Its still in the upper 90s even though its October. So I cannot open windows without my mom having to pay a lot to air condition the outdoors. Ugh I just want it to stop!!!

  2. I have a "conventional wisdom" question for you. I've got a bad cold, and I'm bummed out because I have to go look after my very fragile 97-year-old grandmother for five days and I feel like I'm about to become Typhoid Grand-Mary. But people keep telling me it's OK because you're contagious before you get symptoms, so, by the time you get symptoms, you're not contagious anymore. That sounds like the kind of thing people make up to get away with going to work while they're sick, but is there any truth to it?

  3. Hey dr mike. My grandma has severe neck pain pretty much every day. All the doctors she has been to are not exactly sure what is going on. One said maybe the something with the muscles. One said maybe something with the nerves. One even said maybe something with her jaw. She says the pain is only on her right side. She can’t turn her head and she says sometimes she will stand up and want to walk one way but she will walk another. Are these symptoms related to something?? She has also had a few nerve blocks but they only help for a few days and sometimes less. Please answer my question we have no idea what is going on. And besides this and arthritis she is very healthy. She is 87. Please if you have an answer please help

  4. The flip side of that is finding a doctor that will actually listen to your problems because it could be easy in some areas but difficult in others. I live in an area with an excess of homeless drug addicts so doctors here seem to have this preconceived notion that anyone coming in with MediCal (Medicaid to all non-California residents) is just an addict seeking drugs. Thus it is extremely difficult for anyone who can't afford private medical insurance to be taken seriously here. I once had one doctor prescribe me metimusal because I came in for abdominal pain. They even sent it to my pharmacist which resulted in an embarrassing phone call where I had to confirm that I knew that there was no prescription strength metimusal and that I could buy it over the counter.

  5. 8:46 – "Doctors are humans too! We do weird stuff all the time." (Says casually like he's speaking of everyday stuff, e.g. how he gets Bear out for a walk.)
    8:51 – Realising what he just said…
    8:53 – His inner thoughts be like: "Lem'me just try and save it before people start getting any strange ideas about me and what I do in my profession…"
    8:55 – Inner thoughts No2: "That was so lame. Nobody will ever buy this. I'm done for." (insert awkward embarassed face of despair)
    I'm dead 😂😂😂 It's alright Dr. Mike, as you said yourself, don't feel embarassed! Besides, doctors and medical professors tend to experience weird situations more than anyone… As a nurse, I know myself 😅😂

  6. People need to stop lying to their doctors.
    Doctor: so we were wanting to do fasting bloodwork. Have you eaten in the last 10 to 12 hours?
    Me: you know, i woke up this morning and had to take my meds with some food so i completely forgot.
    Doctor: No problem! It's super quick and simple so we'll just schedule it for another time and make it earlier so you don't have to wait as long to eat.

    How fucking hard is that?

  7. On one of the snapple caps it said, "Every human being eats an average of 8 spiders per year". In their sleep, I guess. I don't remember the exact amount but it was something like that, if my memory serves me well.

  8. My A&P teacher told us one time when she was working that she asked this patient that was going in for a surgery if he'd had anything to eat and he confidently told her that he had eaten breakfast before coming here. Not too weird but he didn't deny it when she asked so she was laughing while telling us it

  9. Dr.mike I just made a Reddit account yet I don't communicate very often on it so if u could pls check out discord (gamer messaging) and make friend account with me I will be THRILLED to have u as a friend !! (pls check it out I highly recommend it)

  10. Doc! You didnt respond the question whatbis the weirdest thing a patient wouldnt admitt?
    Im going crazy just for the wait

  11. My mom works with nursing homes and patient care facilities. For some reason lightbulbs are a popular option when it comes to shoving things places they don't belong.

  12. Similar story to the light bulb

    There was a local journalist here who was rushed to the ER and doctors found a whole piece of cucumber in his rectum.

    His excuse: he was eating salad and he accidentally slipped and it went inside him

    Lol

  13. My dad was one of these patients but in the best way. During a skiing trip he slipped on a frozen puddle in the parking lot, before he'd even gotten near the slopes, and ripped a tendon in his pinky. When the doctor inquired him about how it happened he made up this insane story about how he was skiing outside of the slopes and crashed into a tree while trying to avoid a mountain goat that suddenly got in his way. The nurse interviewing him immediately got on his tail about how insurance doesn't cover accidents that happen off the ski slopes, so my dad starts laughing and explains he was just messing with them to create a more interesting story and that in fact he wasn't even skiing when he fell…

    The doctor absolutely loved it and shared his story with her colleagues but the nurse really didn't have a sense of humor about it XD

  14. Yes, it's very important to be truthful with your doctor about drug use. It is equally important for doctors not to be judgemental about said drug use. The number of times I've had a doctor tell me I need to stop using cannabis when discussing completely unrelated topics is absolutely astounding and rarely is that advice not accompanied by judgemental looks or tones. It's the only medication that's ever worked consistently to alleviate my depression and anxiety, meanwhile, they're telling me that it makes those worse. If you tell me something which I know is false from both personal experience and having read up about it, your credibility drops to essentially zero.

  15. Do primary physicians diagnose all types of diabetes? And can diabetes be tested for even if you do eat prior to the blood test?

  16. So, my sister and I look very similar. My doctor was ALWAYS someone I had confide in with my drug usage (as you should like explained in ther video). He is our family doctor that my whole family goes to. My sister had an appointment with him and when she got there he asked her if she was still using drugs… oops! Honest mistake (I've been told by MANY people we look like twins) and I still go to him to this day 😂 btw, I've been clean for 3 years so I can laugh about this now!

  17. I had a patient with galactorrea, she had a kid 2 years before but stopped breastfeeding him when he was 6 months old. But after all that time she kept producing milk, after running some tests and everything was normal, I interrogated her again and turned out that the husband kept stimulating the production

  18. Hi doctor Mike. I like to see a program called i didn't know i was pregnant, but sometimes it's hard to believe. Is it really possible to give birth without knowing you were pregnant?

  19. My grampa was a doctor. He had a patient come in for a checkup. His nurses did the blood pressure test, it came back high. He asked to go to the bathroom, and when he got back and retook the test it came back normal. He was holding in pee during the first BP test, but took it again later to clear his record.

  20. I worked in A & E for many years and we had patients come in with things inside them that should not have been inside them. In that department you need an open mind and possess the ability not to laugh. The things some people do blows the mind

  21. My mom had a cousin who had lupus and a whole variety of illnesses during her adult life. She had major surgery planned and the doctors told her she had to quit smoking months before the surgery. She had her last cigarette in the car just before going into the hospital for surgery. During surgery, something went wrong and she ended up essentially brain dead. She was conscious, but nobody knew if she was aware of anything that was going on. About a month after the surgery, they moved her to hospice where she eventually died. I was 12 when this happened, but I think that may be the reason I always listen to doctor's orders.

  22. I used to work with CPS. I sent a client for a drug screen and it came back positive for cocaine. When I presented the results to her, she said, “My partner and I had sex the night before and he ejaculated inside me and I haven’t had a chance to shower yet. He must have had cocaine in his system.”

    …..First of all, ew. Second of all, what?

  23. Lol 3:35 I was like what literally 2 seconds later Dr. Mike says what…I was like oh ok good I'm not the only one that doesn't understand what their ears just heard.

  24. 2:49
    I feel attacked ahaha. We have a reeally fat cat. And i feel so bad about it. I literally don't understand how she is so fat. She only eats dry diet kibbles, out of an egg cartoon i put there so she has to work for her food. She hates any other food than dry kibbles.
    She is otside most of the day aswell.
    I have no clue how she is so fat x) she is almost too fat to get out the cat door smh

  25. That butt hole comment reminded me of a vet visit I took my dog to awhile back (she had redness on her privates) and I described the area as her "downstairs." The vet was like, 'I'm gonna have to use that one.' lol

  26. When i was a kid one day my parents weren't home I decided "I want to take a bath"
    So instead of turning on the faucet like a normal child I decided to open every bottled water we had in the house and dump it in the tub.
    Needless to say my parents weren't very happy that day.

  27. My skin on my ears is damaged but that's because I have a high wax production which I literally have been diagnosed with by a doctor and I used to get water trapped in my ears a lot as a kid and tons of ear infections I now go to an ear doctor and get my ears cleaned of Wax once a month and they also check my ears

  28. I'm a vet…..and there's a guy in the clinique that eats dog food because it's "moist and delicious"!!!! Then sometimes he feel bad and want my help.
    I always have to explain that i take care of is dog not him….so he have to go to the hospital!
    Last time i was so over tired that i call the guy Garfield…… but Mike bellieve me! He eats everything….the worst thing you can imagine ,try it,he taste it…..dry buggs that we use to feed other animals…..and a mouse! So……sometimes i wanna trow up but i love my job…

  29. Omg when he read the story of the girl of the tampon i said what? and 5 seconds later he said what? hahahahahhahaha #idkifitisfunnybutifounitfunny

  30. I actually believe the cocaine thing

    I once tested positive for pain killers of sorts,
    and I didn't have any,
    neither am I prone to any sort of addiction associated with pain killers

    but I drank coffee or alcohol that night.

    Unless those two things interact some time apart to test positive for something like that,
    I don't know how that could have come out that way.

  31. I heard about a woman with an epically large bum complaining of pain in one butt cheek. Nothing looked wrong but an X-Ray showed something there. They extracted a pork chop bone she’d sat on but had no memory of when it happened. Once when my mom was little she was running through the living room before collapsing in pain from her knee. Her dad thought it was bull but finally took her to the hospital. She had a long darning needle (I think she said darning needle, anyways it was like a huge fcking needle) in her knee between her kneecap and whatever is under it. Worst thing I ever did was read Eloise and put a rubber band on the end of my nose like she did. It turned my nose purple. My mom told me to wash the marker off my nose but it wouldn’t come off. I freaked out bc I thought I was going to get into trouble. Instead my mom busted out laughing bc I’d bruised the end of my nose and had a purple nose for a few days.

  32. About the dogs looking like watermelons, when I left for college I left my dogs at home, well the guy they got to feed the dogs has been overfeeding them so I get sent pictures of them occasionally and yup, they are potatoes now

  33. Friend of mine told me that this thing called an ER are in my cells so I kept wondering if cells had a tiny emergency room within them which sounded weird, until I realized that they were talking about the endoplasmic reticulum

  34. If the dad cannot think of anything out of the ordinary and the kid has worms in his poop, should we be worried for the dad too?

  35. The fear being your doctor would then alert the authorities that you may have taken somthign illegal like THC or worse. so they make up some balony story, or out right lie. Im fairly sure that a Doctor has a duty to the confidentiality and privacy of the patient, but isnt there a duty ort somthign ehwn i comes to crime>?

  36. I am a type 1 Diabetic since age 11. Which is NOT brought on my food or eating habits and 90% of the time is diagnosed in children that's why it's also called juvenile diabetes. After I broke my pelvis a couple years ago I spent almost three months in the hospital where Drs and nurses treated me as a type 2 diabetic and my blood sugars were sky high cuz I wasn't getting the proper care, that's where I learned that unless you are an endocrinologist people can simply be misinformed about the differences about type 1 Diabetes. So in reference to someone being Diabetic because of food intake, maybe clarify you're talking about type 2 Diabetes. But anyways, I love your videos and I think you are SO funny 😁

  37. I have a friend who has observed a lot of medical procedures involving the colon as she's doing a thesis on cell regeneration in the colon. She told me a guy came in with a doorknob up his butt. He told everyone he was changing a light bulb naked and he fell from the ladder on the door and that the doorknob went in his butt.

  38. No one should endure having to coexist with such dumb f***s 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m done

    Also, GRASSHOPPER protein bars? Are we running out of the other usual sources for protein?!?!

  39. So if your not supposed to go inside the ear to clean what do you do about chunks of earwax building up inside the ear canal?

  40. I work at a vet clinic, and we regularly deal with a shelter that sends us in animals to spay/neuter pro bono. We keep telling them not to feed the dogs/cats before surgery, but someone at the shelter is clearly not getting the message. Once, 3 out of the 4 dogs we fixed that day vomited up food (thankfully after waking up).

    It’s especially frustrating because we’re doing this out of good will and they can’t even help us with these basics. Of course, endangering the animals’ lives is terrible, but also I’m kind of petty and the less vomit I need to clean up the better. I’m horrible, sue me.

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